There Is No Picture Book Relationship - A Fatal Media Fiction
Humans love to “beautify” their lives. Smalltalk is never about political or religious issues; flaws are never visible on Instagram. We always present a beautified version of ourselves. Wow, our lives must look so amazing to strangers!
Unfortunately, people can often be misled by those artificially created images. A friend always shows off his perfect relationship on Facebook, 365 days a year? You always see gorgeous brides on their dream weddings? Unfortunately, your own life is not a picture book like that. Your relationship is not so amazing because you fight and cry every now and then. You feel kind of bad.
Stop! You must always remember a fact: A love affair is not a retouched coffee advertisement. As a couple, you have to stumble, fall and fail. Sometimes, you want to fight with your partner, or stay in bed all weekend. You might want to look horrible and or just eat Chinese food with your partner. Life is not a picture book.
This also applies to emotional levels: If your partner reveals an ugly side or acts kind of weird, you shouldn’t react with anger or disappointment. Rather, you have to be aware that every human being is full of mistakes and has a black whole somewhere – especially yourself!
Media fiction does not show real relationships
If you want to evaluate and reflect about your relationship, you cannot have such unrealistic expectations. Media pictures do not show real life, on the contrary: We will always stumble into conflicts and have horrible fights – this is called a relationship. You have to fight for it.
If you accept your partner’s (and your own!) fallibility, it is much easier for both of you. Lower your expectations and don’t worry too much about your relationship’s outwards appearance. Open your eyes and look directly into your partner’s eyes. Love him or her with all your heart. Don’t compare too much. It is much easier when media images do not tell you what is right and wrong.